Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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