THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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