spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
