i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
