is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
