If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
