don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
