: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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