found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do herpes really smell.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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