What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
