this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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