I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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