So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
