were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize