My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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