I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
