tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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