Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
