he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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