woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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