I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
