So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
