I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
