Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize