he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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