return my video game
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
