hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize