Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
