Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
