My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
