Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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