Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
