i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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