I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
