Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
