I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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