where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
