We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
