Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We got so high we made milksteak
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
