he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
