walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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