if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize