He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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