I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
