we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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