Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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