mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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