hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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