So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
