We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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