If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
