that's an acceptable place to lick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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