Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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