Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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