even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
