omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize